The scoreboard of Arizona Stadium really brings all the aspects of the actual game aspect for all fans that attend. The scoreboard is very modern, as it was renovated in 1999, with a very easy interface for fans, coaches, players, and media to find the information their looking for. The score of the game, time left in the game, play clock, timeouts remaining, and advertisements are the main things that are seen on the scoreboard. There is also a large Television screen in the middle of it all, which also shows advertisements and stats throughout the game. The television also helps bring the fans together with chants to follow along together and games to play Our group chose this picture because the first three pictures really pointed out specific groups that go to the stadium, and this picture really ties them all together. Not only the fans, but also the players and coaches use the scoreboard. The last thing that many attendees of the game see as they head out of the stadium, is the scoreboard still glowing thanking them for coming out to watch the U of A football team.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePeer Reviewer: Josh Schneiderman Writer: Jake Alves
ReplyDelete1) First, begin with the photos and critical captions. Which critical captions were most effective in helping you see and understand the space as the writer does and why?
All of the captions are basically just descriptions of what is in the picture. Try and go deeper with catchier captions. You need to make a claim in the caption and support it with the paragraphs.
2) Each critical caption should make a claim, support the claim with evidence/details from the text (photo or space), and analyze how the writer sees/understands those details so that the reader is invited to see/understand them in a similar way. How effectively does the writer make clear claims, support them with evidence, and elucidate her/his analysis? Does the analysis offer new knowledge, i.e. make an interesting claim supported with evidence? Explain.
a. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer does this particularly well.
None of the captions make claims but there is a lot of support in each paragraph for a claim you could make.
b. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer might build upon the claim/support/analysis paradigm.
As I said above you still need to make claims in your captions. All the support is there though.
3) As a result of this analysis, readers should begin to see a relationship between the photos taken of the space. What major themes/ideas define the relationship you see between these photos? If the relationship is unclear or undeveloped, what can the writer do to establish a clear relationship between the photos?
All of the pictures mesh together very well. I especially like the picture of the Navajo Hall because it brings a completely different aspect into the essay.
4) Comment upon the design of the blog. Is the blog’s visual design easy to read, professional in appearance, and in sync with the purpose? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the design?
The design you chose is very clear and easy to read. Nothing needs to be changed in that area.
5) Consider the writer’s choice of words and the tone s/he uses in the blog. Do these choices seem appropriate for the target audience (English 102 students and instructors)? Are there any places in the text where the choices seem out of sync with the target audience?
ReplyDeleteThe way you spoke in the essay is perfect for how people should be thinking of the stadium. You’re positive words about the stadium make it easier for someone reading to gain a good perspective on the stadium.
6) What are the greatest strengths of this draft? Try to identify 1-3 specific things the writer does well.
The writing is good in length for a rough draft. You give a lot of support for the reader to think about when deciding what they think of the stadium.
7) List 2-4 specific suggestions you have for the writer as s/he moves forward in her/his revisions.
The biggest suggestion is to change your critical captions. You need to make a claim about when you think of the picture, and then support it with the text. You also need to put an introductory and concluding paragraph that give a short background of the stadium and a clear thesis.
8) Re-read the introduction. Based on the introduction alone:
a. In your own words, what is the thesis or main idea of this visual/spatial analysis?
There is no introduction paragraph but the first picture’s text gives you a broad idea of what the rest of the blog will be about.
b. How effective is the introduction in capturing your attention? What suggestions do you have for improving upon the introduction?
You need to make an introduction paragraph and put your thesis in there.
c. If there isn’t an introduction, offer ways in which the author can begin the blog.
9) Now, read the conclusion. What main ideas/points are you left with as a reader? How closely do these points relate to claims made earlier in the blog? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the conclusion? If there isn’t a conclusion, offer ways in which the author can begin a conclusion.
You need to make a conclusion paragraph to sum everything up into one big thing.
Peer Reviewer: Ben Writer: Jake
ReplyDeleteRead through the blog once so that you get a sense of the writer’s purpose and main ideas. Once you have read through the entire assignment once, answer the following questions directly on this sheet. Then save the peer review sheet to the desktop and post the document in a comment on the blog.
1) First, begin with the photos and critical captions. Which critical captions were most effective in helping you see and understand the space as the writer does and why?
The zona zoo picture I felt that you described the place, and what happens very well.
2) Each critical caption should make a claim, support the claim with evidence/details from the text (photo or space), and analyze how the writer sees/understands those details so that the reader is invited to see/understand them in a similar way. How effectively does the writer make clear claims, support them with evidence, and elucidate her/his analysis? Does the analysis offer new knowledge, i.e. make an interesting claim supported with evidence? Explain.
a. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer does this particularly well.
I liked the scoreboard and how you said it is the thing that keeps all the attendees informed and a better view of what is going on.
b. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer might build upon the claim/support/analysis paradigm.
I think that you can link all the pictures together in one big argument or claim that can really tie all four photos together.
3) As a result of this analysis, readers should begin to see a relationship between the photos taken of the space. What major themes/ideas define the relationship you see between these photos? If the relationship is unclear or undeveloped, what can the writer do to establish a clear relationship between the photos?
The relationship is the stadium itself but do they all have another relationship?
4) Comment upon the design of the blog. Is the blog’s visual design easy to read, professional in appearance, and in sync with the purpose? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the design?
I like how the text wraps around the picture giving you an easy way to look at the text and the picture at the same time.
5) Consider the writer’s choice of words and the tone s/he uses in the blog. Do these choices seem appropriate for the target audience (English 102 students and instructors)? Are there any places in the text where the choices seem out of sync with the target audience?
I think that your tone goes well with the audience that is going to read this paper and I also think that
6) What are the greatest strengths of this draft? Try to identify 1-3 specific things the writer does well.
The structure and how it flowed was easy to read.
7) List 2-4 specific suggestions you have for the writer as s/he moves forward in her/his revisions.
Reread and analyze farther into the meaning of the stadium and the people that have experiences there.
8) Re-read the introduction. Based on the introduction alone:
a. In your own words, what is the thesis or main idea of this visual/spatial analysis?
b. How effective is the introduction in capturing your attention? What suggestions do you have for improving upon the introduction?
c. If there isn’t an introduction, offer ways in which the author can begin the blog.
9) Now, read the conclusion. What main ideas/points are you left with as a reader? How closely do these points relate to claims made earlier in the blog? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the conclusion? If there isn’t a conclusion, offer ways in which the author can begin a conclusion.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletePeer Review Sheet – Assignment One: Visual/Spatial Analysis
ReplyDeletePeer Reviewer: Ashley Urdang Writer: Jake Alves
1) First, begin with the photos and critical captions. Which critical captions were most effective in helping you see and understand the space as the writer does and why?
The captions do not tell me what type of sport is being played at the stadium. And people who do not attend Arizona may not know what “Zona Zoo” means.
2) Each critical caption should make a claim, support the claim with evidence/details from the text (photo or space), and analyze how the writer sees/understands those details so that the reader is invited to see/understand them in a similar way. How effectively does the writer make clear claims, support them with evidence, and elucidate her/his analysis? Does the analysis offer new knowledge, i.e. make an interesting claim supported with evidence? Explain.
The captions do not support a claim they are just simple headers for each picture. Try giving them more detailed names that support your thesis, maybe about the culture.
a. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer does this particularly well.
The author does this well in the blog about the Navajo Hall dorm stating that it is not only a football stadium but something more. I love that.
b. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer might build upon the claim/support/analysis paradigm.
For the ticket stadium blog, why is it important that people other than students attend the games? In the Zona Zoo entrance blog you repeat words a lot “The decision to pick the Zona Zoo entrance was fairly easy, due to the fact that the students who attend the game contribute greatly to the overall atmosphere of the game.” All of the first blog is like that. Continuously support your claim, I think you are trying to make it that the stadium is important to the culture of the school.
3) As a result of this analysis, readers should begin to see a relationship between the photos taken of the space. What major themes/ideas define the relationship you see between these photos? If the relationship is unclear or undeveloped, what can the writer do to establish a clear relationship between the photos?
The relationship between these photos is a large part of culture of U of A. It exudes the passion students have for the school. Emphasize that more.
4) Comment upon the design of the blog. Is the blog’s visual design easy to read, professional in appearance, and in sync with the purpose? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the design?
This is an easy blog to read. Make U of A colors maybe.
5) Consider the writer’s choice of words and the tone s/he uses in the blog. Do these choices seem appropriate for the target audience (English 102 students and instructors)? Are there any places in the text where the choices seem out of sync with the target audience?
Everything is definitely aimed toward an audience of our age and location, a.k.a at U of A.
6) What are the greatest strengths of this draft? Try to identify 1-3 specific things the writer does well.
ReplyDeleteThe strengths are the photographs and the value of culture they emit.
7) List 2-4 specific suggestions you have for the writer as s/he moves forward in her/his revisions.
Relate your blogs more toward the culture of the students. Talk about how long these places have been around and how the school would be different without them.
8) Re-read the introduction. Based on the introduction alone:
a. In your own words, what is the thesis or main idea of this visual/spatial analysis?
b. How effective is the introduction in capturing your attention? What suggestions do you have for improving upon the introduction?
c. If there isn’t an introduction, offer ways in which the author can begin the blog.
Introduce what the assignment is of spatial analysis.
9) Now, read the conclusion. What main ideas/points are you left with as a reader? How closely do these points relate to claims made earlier in the blog? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the conclusion? If there isn’t a conclusion, offer ways in which the author can begin a conclusion.
Make your final claim perhaps about how culture ties into the photographs.
Peer Reviewer: Pat Hannon Writer: Alex A
ReplyDeleteRead through the blog once so that you get a sense of the writer’s purpose and main ideas. Once you have read through the entire assignment once, answer the following questions directly on this sheet. Then save the peer review sheet to the desktop and post the document in a comment on the blog.
1) First, begin with the photos and critical captions. Which critical captions were most effective in helping you see and understand the space as the writer does and why?
The critical caption about the Navajo dorm was the most effective to show us the audience how unique it is to the University of Arizona.
2) Each critical caption should make a claim, support the claim with evidence/details from the text (photo or space), and analyze how the writer sees/understands those details so that the reader is invited to see/understand them in a similar way. How effectively does the writer make clear claims, support them with evidence, and elucidate her/his analysis? Does the analysis offer new knowledge, i.e. make an interesting claim supported with evidence? Explain.
There is no overall claim because there is no introduction but every picture has a solid claim to it. All you have to do is find a broad claim that will help tie everything together.
a. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer does this particularly well.
I think you did well with the analysis of the dorm in the stadium.
b. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer might build upon the claim/support/analysis paradigm.
One place you could improve on is your analysis of the scoreboard, maybe talk about the advertisements and how they play a role on the community. Also, talk about how different the Zona Zoo is now that the football season is over.
3) As a result of this analysis, readers should begin to see a relationship between the photos taken of the space. What major themes/ideas define the relationship you see between these photos? If the relationship is unclear or undeveloped, what can the writer do to establish a clear relationship between the photos?
All of these pictures fit well together. The major themes are football and the University of Arizona community. There is no unclearity as to the connection of each photograph. You could include that other then the dorm pretty much everything was deserted.
4) Comment upon the design of the blog. Is the blog’s visual design easy to read, professional in appearance, and in sync with the purpose? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the design?
I thought the design fit your blog well. It looks very professional and is in sync with your purpose.
5) Consider the writer’s choice of words and the tone s/he uses in the blog. Do these choices seem appropriate for the target audience (English 102 students and instructors)? Are there any places in the text where the choices seem out of sync with the target audience?
I did not see any grammatical mistakes in your blog. The tone of your blog straight to the point.
6) What are the greatest strengths of this draft? Try to identify 1-3 specific things the writer does well.
ReplyDeleteThe way you dissect each picture.
7) List 2-4 specific suggestions you have for the writer as s/he moves forward in her/his revisions.
You should try to connect all of your photos into one basic thesis. Try to find more claims on each one of your pictures.
8) Re-read the introduction. Based on the introduction alone:
a. In your own words, what is the thesis or main idea of this visual/spatial analysis?
b. How effective is the introduction in capturing your attention? What suggestions do you have for improving upon the introduction?
c. If there isn’t an introduction, offer ways in which the author can begin the blog.
Try to find your thesis. Maybe something along the lines as Why the stadium is important or unique to the University.
9) Now, read the conclusion. What main ideas/points are you left with as a reader? How closely do these points relate to claims made earlier in the blog? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the conclusion? If there isn’t a conclusion, offer ways in which the author can begin a conclusion.
Try to connect all of your photographs and prove your thesis.