The stadium ticket office is also an icon to the start of any U of A home football game, but this somewhat of an entrance is not for the students. The stadium ticket office is an area for any casual fan, tourists, local, or anyone else to purchase tickets. There are many windows where fans can walk up to buy tickets, which helps keep lines short. The ticket window is one area where all types of fans and people can meet. There is also a team schedule for the U of A located on top of the ticket window, in case fans would like to purchase tickets for a game that is later in the season as well. Opposing teams fans also are allowed to walk to purchase tickets for their respective team. The group’s decision to use this photo was also quite simple. This was mainly due to the fact that we felt that we needed a way to incorporate the rest of the fans that attend the football games, not only the students. This picture stood out the most because although the ticket office looks dead, that’s how it starts many days as fans can walk up at anytime to purchase tickets for the game of their choice.
Peer Reviewer: Peppiina Niemi Writer: Jacob A
ReplyDeleteRead through the blog once so that you get a sense of the writer’s purpose and main ideas. Once you have read through the entire assignment once, answer the following questions directly on this sheet. Then save the peer review sheet to the desktop and post the document in a comment on the blog.
1) First, begin with the photos and critical captions. Which critical captions were most effective in helping you see and understand the space as the writer does and why?
Yes. The captions were clear and to the point. There is not really nay creativity in the titles but it does get the point across
2) Each critical caption should make a claim, support the claim with evidence/details from the text (photo or space), and analyze how the writer sees/understands those details so that the reader is invited to see/understand them in a similar way. How effectively does the writer make clear claims, support them with evidence, and elucidate her/his analysis? Does the analysis offer new knowledge, i.e. make an interesting claim supported with evidence? Explain.
There is lot of explanation about what happens in the places that are captured. However, there are not enough connections being made with why something might be in the photo.
a. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer does this particularly well.
The picture of the box office has a nice analysis of the picture and details in the photo.
b. Note 1-2 places in the blog where the writer might build upon the claim/support/analysis paradigm.
Expand on your claims. For instance, the picture about the stadium dorm he mentions it is unique. Well why and how?
3) As a result of this analysis, readers should begin to see a relationship between the photos taken of the space. What major themes/ideas define the relationship you see between these photos? If the relationship is unclear or undeveloped, what can the writer do to establish a clear relationship between the photos?
He has a relationship and understanding with the photos because of his experience there. However he does not explain thoroughly the purpose of the details in these purposes. He could try and make more connections.
4) Comment upon the design of the blog. Is the blog’s visual design easy to read, professional in appearance, and in sync with the purpose? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the design?
The blog is well in sync, and the background color accents the blue and red pictures nicely. There could be more color on the page if he wanted.
5) Consider the writer’s choice of words and the tone s/he uses in the blog. Do these choices seem appropriate for the target audience (English 102 students and instructors)? Are there any places in the text where the choices seem out of sync with the target audience?
ReplyDeleteThe tone targets the audience nicely. The writing flows well and commas are used in the right places for the most part. The writing is formal enough to sound intelligent but also not too difficult to read.
6) What are the greatest strengths of this draft? Try to identify 1-3 specific things the writer does well.
Giving background information and explaining what happens in the locations that are portrayed.
7) List 2-4 specific suggestions you have for the writer as s/he moves forward in her/his revisions.
Add more detail and explain WHY you think something is a certain way. What is the purpose of something being there?
8) Re-read the introduction. Based on the introduction alone:
a. In your own words, what is the thesis or main idea of this visual/spatial analysis?
That the football stadium’s main purpose is for spirit, tradition, and gathering.
b. How effective is the introduction in capturing your attention? What suggestions do you have for improving upon the introduction?
The introduction is alright, although it is a bit too specific toward just the first picture.
9) Now, read the conclusion. What main ideas/points are you left with as a reader? How closely do these points relate to claims made earlier in the blog? Do you have any suggestions for improving upon the conclusion? If there isn’t a conclusion, offer ways in which the author can begin a conclusion.
There is only a conclusion that wraps up the last photo not the blog as a whole. He could incorporate the other pictures back into his conclusion to bring back his ove